Calm damn it!

am i expecting too much from myself?

i dont care.

i just know that,
i was supposed to be calmer,
wiser,
and thoughtful.

i was neither.

i have to always be calm.

Calm is the only way to access the human part of your brain.
And you have to learn to be human!
Man have to learn to be human.

I got that during my trip to Cordoba.

i have to be in control.

am i asking too much?

well, im expecting a better 'me'.

i learn from my mistakes..

im calmer now.

and can think straight.

how true it is...

If a person doesnt have a sense of achievement in their real life, it's easy to loose themselves in a virtual world where they can get a false sense of accomplishment

George Town as UNESCO’s World Heritage

Melaka and George Town, historic cities of the Straits of Malacca (Malaysia) have developed over 500 years of trading and cultural exchanges between East and West in the Straits of Malacca. The influences of Asia and Europe have endowed the towns with a specific multicultural heritage that is both tangible and intangible. With its government buildings, churches, squares and fortifications, Melaka demonstrates the early stages of this history originating in the 15th-century Malay sultanate and the Portuguese and Dutch periods beginning in the early 16th century. Featuring residential and commercial buildings, George Town represents the British era from the end of the 18th century. The two towns constitute a unique architectural and cultural townscape without parallel anywhere in East and Southeast Asia.

I-liberal???

i would like to add more to my previous entry.
for some would misunderstood it, and maybe think of me as 'a bad guy'.

i dont want to add on the same entry as it would contribute to its length thus making it look more boring than it already is.

first of all,

what i've written, comes from what i see around me.

So to lay out the whole story to you, would means, a very very long entry.

tht's y, that entry, was just a summarize.

infact, it is the same case as for most of my entries,


i thought u would see them positively and understood every word of it,

i hate elaborating, i expect ppl to understand what i write, and if they dont, someday they will.

when i've come to learn something from life experience, sometimes, i put it in my blog
without mentioning how i got it, what happened or anything else. it's much easier.

but... how can u understand the whole thing just by reading the summary right?

through your own life experience i guess.

but my last entry is a particular entry,
as it is about religion.
and this topic is sensitive, (even in my own blog!)
a person already commented it in facebook telling me what he knows of Christianity and how misleed they can be.

i see no connection with what i've wrote and he obviously didnt get what ive written.

i will elaborate on one point here.

which is, "fear, love and reward."

i'll give a simple example;

Your parents went out one night, and told you to stay home. but your friend called and asked you to join him to go to a concert.

Now, you can refuse him, because you're afraid that your parents would find out and scold you, or because u love them, and u dont want to break their heart.

u can choose any of those reason, or both, the result is the same, which is u dont go out that night.

im not saying any reason is better,
its up to u.

u can obey somebody, do his biding,
because u're afraid or love him.

same goes for reward.

u choose what reason u want to do it for.
yes, for me, love is the best, but seriously, it's totally up to u.

i'll give u another example,

this i got from a book, titled lord of light, a good book, it makes u realize how beautiful God is.
Beautiful here does NOT mean physically. (i think i should be more careful on my words now, so tht people wont misunderstood it)


One day, the people of Prophet Musa a.s asked him, "Oh Musa, is there anyone wiser than you?" Musa answered. "I think not for the Lord has sent me to be your prophet in this time and He has given me all the wisdom there is to dispense."

The Lord was displeased with these words and He sent him to His servant whose wisdom is greater.

This servant's name was Khidr, and in the end, it was proven that this person is wiser.

What Khidr did which failed Musa was that he broke a boat which belongs to good people, built a wall without being paid, and killed a boy.

Musa was impatient as to why this person did this things while on their journey together.

Khidr did all this thing, just for the sake of the Lord. He was revealed that the boy would turn out mean and cause great pain to his parents but they would get another child who would be the ancestor of seventy prophets.

the other occasions were also done, solely, for the sake of Allah s.w.t. and have their own greater reason. (im tired to type them all...)

Here we see how a person is doing something that is not for his own sake, and does him no good in this life.

he could ask for money to build the wall, but he didnt.
why is tht? what's wrong with asking some money to get some food? he's doing something beneficial and asking money for a good cause too. (eating...)

It's because it wasn't for his sake that he's building the wall.

is he looking for a reward?
or tht he's afraid tht he would be shot with lightning if he didnt do it?

What God gave him, he accepts it,
but what he's done, was not for these gifts.
God can promise him nothing, but he wouldn't care less.

I hope, things would become clearer now.

u can do your bid, because you are afraid of Him, or wanting his prize, or just for the mere sake of Himself. its up to u.

the are more than one way to get things done.

generally,
u can do anything for any reason.
its up to you and im in no position to say that you are wrong.

the way i see it,

God has given a lot to you, why cant u give him a gift once in awhile?


and u know the rules of giving gift, expect nothing in return!

this has got nothing to do with "I-liberal" or a new way for Christians to attack us...

Love, Fear, Reward

"Takutlah kamu akan neraka-Nya, akan bala-Nya, tp, jgnlah kamu takut akan Tuhan mu, tp sayangilah Dia, spt mana Dia menyayangi kamu"


"Afraid of his damnation, of his wrath, but not be afraid of Him, instead, love Him as He has loved you."

Which means that the phrase, "Jangan takut kpd apa2 shj kecuali Tuhan." (not be afraid of anything except God) is incorrect.

The right phrase should be, "Janganlah takut kpd kuasa lain selain kuasa Tuhan."
("Be afraid not of other power accept the ones of His Almighty")

i think, being afraid is normal. u're afraid of dark, afraid of walking alone in a lonely alleyway, etc. Those feelings are normal. infact, it could be usefull, for God would not give us that feeling for no reason.

So, we can be afraid, other than of God, im afraid of a lot of things. that doesnt make me an unbeliever, tht just makes me normal. those who says he's not afraid of anything except God, i dare say is a hypocrite.


Why i say, be afraid of God's damnation but not God, is for the simple reason, which is,
how can we love something/someone which/whom we're afraid of?

there are three ways to make us do something, through love, fear or rewarding.

u choose the path.

When u 've done a good deed, are u expecting a prize from God(pahala)?


why are we molding ourselves as somebody who always expect something in return even if it is for a good cause?

do things,
be a good person,
be good to other ppl,
just for the sake of love to your God.

Thts all,
nothing more and nothing less.

purify our heart with willingness.

Fear will put us in a cage,
makes us harder to think by ourselves
always having bad thought will darken our heart

Gosh, this world will turn in a much beautiful way if love is always the reason.

what to do with idiotism?

why have i not posted anything for a long time...
and the last entry was just a general view.

yet, so many has occured.
so many.
the thing is,
i dont know where to start,
which one i should talk about.
sometimes, i just shut my brain,
and i end up with nothing to say.

anywho, these r the summarize of things i could think of right now;

u know how much ppl can be stupid?
a lot.
so much.
ppl r just so damn stupid.
and,
its really hard living in a foreign country,
even more when they speak a language u're not so mastered of.
physically difference and language barrier,
to have a great social life,
is a unique challenge.
and sometimes u just want to quit,
but it's everyday.
u need to have the spirit every single day.
no chance for a day off and go back to a lovely place where u dunt have to go through all this shit.
and to make things worst,
im the only msian for the 3rd year here.

______________

im in a new place now.
i've entered école.
its a hard place to get into actually.
from a group of eleven, only three got a place in an école.
i entered this one as the other two went to another école.
they had higher marks then i did, so they entered a harder école.
i was lucky enough to get my ass in an 'école'.
it doesnt matter high or low,
its an "école".

although ppl outside european countries r normally not aware of the french system,
it is a great opportunity for me to be here,
which makes my life story even better.
i carry my school name,
the normal daily school in a small town in penang,
manage to get his student in an engineering école.

i like to think of myself as a person with responsibility on his shoulder (which is true for everyone...),
that's how i get this body up everyday, going through all the crap of the day,
and hoping for a better one tomorrow.
i dont have a motivater next to me,
so, this kind of thoughts can blow up some wind of spirit to this feather-like body.

i stop here,
need to sleep and face tomorrow.